Catholic Church Bridal-Skank-Shaming

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Ladies,  I'm going to apologize in advance because I'm in rare form today.  I'm pretty awesome like that.

So, I booked my wedding at the Catholic church in September.  For anyone who doesn't have a calendar handy, that was almost FOUR full months ago.

Cut to Friday, when I got a ramble-y phone call from the church wedding liaison that was semi-disjointed in that she TWICE mentioned that I was getting married at a different church and then proceeded to inform me that I didn't even have the paperwork about the guidelines for a wedding in the church.

Yes, no shit, wedding lady.  I don't have any information because YOU have not provided it.  Though I have many powers on the internet, I actually have no power to make you do your job.

Ok then.

So, I get the guidelines on Saturday and I am instantly pissed.

Pre-Saturday, I actually had my wedding dress.  I know, SPOILER ALERT.

I had a great plan for adding straps to the dress and I was really excited about it.  Post-Saturday?  Apparently straps are not enough for an a**hole Catholic wedding.  Oh no, only a full-coverage sweater/jacket/burka will do.



I knew that this particular church was even more of an a-hole than other Catholic churches... but I had NO idea how bad it was.  Particularly because of the fact that, on facebook, I can find tons of random brides with strapless dresses in this church.

(I actually just referenced all my BFF's from college weddings... I looked up 6 of them and not even 1 girl had her shoulders covered at all.  So I don't think I'm being unnecessarily upset.  Granted, none were in this church, but still.  Six Catholic weddings and zero covered shoulders.)

There are a million things more that have irritated me about the process of joining (Mr. RH) and getting married in the Catholic church, but this one really set my pants on fire.  (I'm pretty sure that's not a real phrase.)

There's also the fact that I had a $200 fee due a week after I booked my wedding in September... and I just found out about it.  On January 27th.  You'd think that when it came to getting their money, the church would be on that like white-on-rice.  

I had so hoped to have a great experience getting married in the Catholic church with Mr. RH.  As this is really his first introduction to the church, I had high hopes that things would go smoothly.  I know the church is probably under-staffed and over-worked, but the whole four-months-late thing is just too much for me to handle.

So, this was a really positive, uplifting post for a Monday morning.  Calling out how angry I am at my Catholic church.

Let's just be glad I'm too exhausted from weeping my eyes out at The Descendents or it could have turned into a rant on the Catholic church as a whole... and let's just say that the bloodbath that would ensue is just a little too much for a Monday morning.

I apologize that this post isn't really my typical fare... unless you count complaining as my typical fare cause then it's riight up my own alley.

So, I'm searching for a burka to go with my quite-unique wedding dress.  Because of the detailing, it probably needs to be lace - but the lace is so different that I haven't been able to find anything remotely similar.  Satin is out because the dress has zero satin on it.  I'm going to visit the shop where the dress is from and see if they can order some of the lace from the dress... but I'm sure that will cost a fortune and I'm positive that the lace isn't going to be considered enough coverage.

I think I need to be done now or else I'm going to have to get married in my tiny backyard.

Am I being irrational?  And if I'm being irrational, can it at least be unacceptable that it took me FOUR MONTHS to get this information?  After asking repeatedly?

Bride out.

Edit: I should probably mention the way that the "dress guidelines" are written in the most condescending tone ever.  As in, "oh my, if we didn't mention that you need to cover EVERYTHING from your earlobes to your toes, you may show up in Janet Jackson's nipple shields only and thank HEAVENS we are here to help."  And, helpfully, a shrug made in the same material as the dress is usually best. (Direct actual quote there.)  You don't say!  Someone call Project Runway!